Why We Seek Out The Negative

Just as we are all different from one other, so are our cravings. The same situation can make two people react very differently. For example, playing the slots at a casino will give some people a hit of dopamine in anticipation of a win. For others it triggers cortisol/anxiety because they anticipate a loss.

Two siblings are dreading a big report soon due at school. At the mere thought of starting it, both feel anxious. But one will avoid it and procrastinate, putting off the anxiety. The other child, although anxious, knows that completing the project will alleviate her anxiety, and the thought of that triggers dopamine, so that child starts the project right away. If you are a parent it can help seeing much of your children’s behavior from this standpoint as it will aid you greatly in understanding them not to mention helping them to understand themselves.

For the past ten thousand years, the threat of danger had more impact on our survival than good experiences; therefore, our amygdala was primed to label most experiences as dangerous and has continued to do so right up until present day. We were built to last, not for lasting happiness, which is why we learn faster from pain than from pleasure. Each time something happens that we don’t like, cortisol magnifies the feeling, embedding it into our memory as a threat of some kind.

For example, your boss gives you a stellar review, but at the very end, he says, “The only thing I would like to see improved is_______.” Yet after your meeting, all your brain focuses on is the one thing he wants you to improve.

We all tend to do this, regardless of the feedback or the source of it. The brain digs out the negative comment; sometimes it may even dig through a positive one and think, “Hmm, but what was he really trying to say?” We tell ourselves that we do this because we just want to improve but that is contrived crap! The real reason we do it is that the brain interprets any slightly negative feedback from another person as us being at risk for being “kicked out of the tribe.”

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About Why We Are Wired To Worry— How Science Can Help Us Stop

Counselor, trainer, author, motivational speaker, who has been teaching people about human behavior since 1986. Why do our brains seem obsessed with problems, both real and imagined? Believe it or not, it’s not your fault— it’s your default! Sharie teaches people down to finally understand why your brain loves worrying about problems and how you can stop and finally get off the Worry-Go-Round™ Your brain is programed to believe that impending doom is around every corner due to an outdated evolutionary trait that helped ancient humans survive. But in present day this program is not only obsolete but it is making us sick! If you have ever been kept awake a night as your mind conjured up fears of sickness, deaths of loved ones, financial crisis, and car wrecks, you know what I mean. Share teaches how to stop the urge to get upset simply because your boss is annoyed at you or you are stuck in traffic or how to redirect your brains distorted perception of problems using easy-to-follow, proven techniques. In her latest book she explains how to implement a targeted program that will stop your stress response in its tracks, leaving you calmer, stronger and happier. You will finally have the control over your moods and behaviors that you have been seeking. You will replace feeling, vulnerable, exhausted and joyless with a brand new positive outlook that will change your life. At the top of her field as a motivational speaker, addiction specialist, and co-producing the David Toma show, Spironhi’s world suddenly fell apart when she was diagnosed with rapid-cycling bipolar depression. For the next six years, her journey in and out of hospitals left her tired and hopeless. But in 1996, just before giving up, she was miraculously healed of all mood swings and the bi-polar disorder disappeared. Her profound experience propelled her to discover how this could happen and if there was any scientific explanation for it. That year, neuroplasticity was confirmed, proving that the brain can change and heal itself. Spironhi has a gift for explaining technical scientific details and getting to the heart of what holds people back from the changes they desire. She works year round doing workshops, one-on-one sessions, and speaking engagements.

Posted on May 9, 2015, in Self Help and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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