When anger does overtake you, always remember that you are almost never upset for the reason you think you are. Only after you calm down will you see the truth, and it will almost always have its root in some kind of fear. I suggest to clients that when anger rises, they should stop and ask, “What am I afraid of right now?” Common fears are those of embarrassment, rejection, loss, and danger. Getting to that root will always put things in perspective.
When you get upset, your brain knows that you need something at that moment, so you may experience a hundred images in seconds, giving rise to anger, frustration, self-pity, and loneliness that support and validate your current belief about the situation. This can happen quickly especially when you are disappointed by someone close to you. The next time someone does something to upset you, see if you can spot how many “blaming” memories flood in to validate your outrage toward this person. You will have to be fast because the memories will be there in under a second yelling, “Pick me! Hey, over here! I can prove he did that on purpose. I can show you that she doesn’t really care.” Next thing you know, you become angrier at the person than the situation warrants, and when pressed for a reason, you will probably bark, “Because you always do this!” Your brain is programmed to ignore any information that would disprove your violated feelings. It does this to protect you.
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About Why We Are Wired To Worry— How Science Can Help Us Stop
Counselor, trainer, author, motivational speaker, who has been teaching people about human behavior since 1986.
Why do our brains seem obsessed with problems, both real and imagined? Believe it or not, it’s not your fault— it’s your default! Sharie teaches people down to finally understand why your brain loves worrying about problems and how you can stop and finally get off the Worry-Go-Round™ Your brain is programed to believe that impending doom is around every corner due to an outdated evolutionary trait that helped ancient humans survive. But in present day this program is not only obsolete but it is making us sick! If you have ever been kept awake a night as your mind conjured up fears of sickness, deaths of loved ones, financial crisis, and car wrecks, you know what I mean.
Share teaches how to stop the urge to get upset simply because your boss is annoyed at you or you are stuck in traffic or how to redirect your brains distorted perception of problems using easy-to-follow, proven techniques. In her latest book she explains how to implement a targeted program that will stop your stress response in its tracks, leaving you calmer, stronger and happier. You will finally have the control over your moods and behaviors that you have been seeking. You will replace feeling, vulnerable, exhausted and joyless with a brand new positive outlook that will change your life.
At the top of her field as a motivational speaker, addiction specialist, and co-producing the David Toma show, Spironhi’s world suddenly fell apart when she was diagnosed with rapid-cycling bipolar depression. For the next six years, her journey in and out of hospitals left her tired and hopeless. But in 1996, just before giving up, she was miraculously healed of all mood swings and the bi-polar disorder disappeared. Her profound experience propelled her to discover how this could happen and if there was any scientific explanation for it. That year, neuroplasticity was confirmed, proving that the brain can change and heal itself.
Spironhi has a gift for explaining technical scientific details and getting to the heart of what holds people back from the changes they desire. She works year round doing workshops, one-on-one sessions, and speaking engagements.
Brain Science Answers to Depression, Anxiety, Anger 
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